Are you Being Stalked?
Stalking is a major problem in the United States. Every single year there are about 6 million people who find themselves in a position of having to report stalking-related incidents.
While most stalking victims are women, that’s not always the case. Each year men, who often assume that they don’t have to worry about stalkers, find themselves being followed. Some female stalkers have even murdered their victims.
The sooner you recognize the early warning signs of a stalker, the safer you will ultimately be.
When stalking victims look back on their history with their stalker, they usually notice that things started getting weird when they continually ran into the person in various locations. In the beginning, things usually don’t seem strange because it’s someone they know and because sometimes people do share the same space at the same time.
However, if the “causally running into one another” becomes a daily occurrence or the encounters happen in increasingly strange places, it’s time to start considering that a stalking situation could be developing.
Unexpected Gifts
The only thing better than getting a present is getting a present when it’s totally unexpected. The problem with unexpected presents is that they can also be a sign of unwanted attention. If someone is continually giving you things, even seemingly innocent things such as candy bars, it could be that they are developing an unhealthy obsession.
Ignoring Boundaries
Once you started getting unwanted gifts you likely started putting up some boundaries. If a person is ignoring these boundaries and continues to lavish unwanted gifts on you and is constantly entering into your personal space, it’s a sign that they have developed a potentially unhealthy attachment to you.
Property Damage
Property damage is often a tell-tale sign that a person has started to develop a stalking tendency. This is especially true if you’ve done something such as gone out with someone else or rebuffed your stalker’s advances. The property damage is a sign that it’s time to get the police involved.
It’s not uncommon for stalking behavior to escalate until it is ruining both your’s and the stalker’s lives. Ignoring the behavior doesn’t do anyone any favors. As the stalking behavior escalates, it’s important to involve the authorities. Not only will they take action to protect you, reaching this point could be what your stalker needs to realize that they’re engaging in dangerous behavior and that they need to seek professional help.
What to Do if You’re Being Stalked
Every single year, approximately 7.5 million Americans become the victims of a stalker. If you suspect that you’ve attracted the attention of a stalker you must remain calm while simultaneously taking steps to protect yourself.
Don’t Dismiss the Threat
One of the biggest mistakes many stalking victims make is deciding that they are imagining things or that the situation isn’t all that serious. When it comes to a stalker, it’s best to be over-cautious. Being the victim of a stalker not only puts your mental health at risk, but it can also be life-threatening. The University of Gloucestershire conducted a six-month study that revealed that stalking was a component in 94% of the studied homicides.
As soon as you even suspect you’ve attracted the attention of a stalker, you need to take steps to protect yourself.
Block Your Social Media Accounts
Social media has made stalking easier than ever before. Routing posts provide an incredible amount of information that a stalker will use against you. When you feel that you’ve attracted the attention of a stalker, set all of your online profiles to private and stop posting updates, particularly updates that a stalker could use to figure out where you’re going and your routine.
Alert Loved Ones to the Situation
Even if you only have a funny feeling about someone, you should talk to your loved ones about the situation. Not only will they help you decide if you’re imagining things, but they can also take steps to make sure you’re protected. A perfect example of how alerting a loved one to the situation will help you out is that they’ll be willing to accompany you on errands. Not only is there safety in numbers, but the second pair of eyes means you will have a witness to the stalking which will strengthen your case if you have to press charges.
Start Keeping a Record
Pull out a notebook and start recording everything that relates to your stalker. This record should include gifts you’ve received, any time they’ve been in the same location as you, and all virtual and in-person conversations you’ve had with them. It’s a good idea to keep copies of these records in different locations. The data you collect will be a key piece of evidence against your stalker.
Get Serious About Personal Protection
You can’t afford to get casual with your personal protection. As soon as you feel that you’re becoming the victim of a stalker, you need to take a long look at your current situation and evaluate how you can make it safer. You need to lock your doors. You need to alert loved ones about where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Consider taking a self-defense class. Get into the habit of frequently checking in with loved ones. You may even want to consider staying with a friend or loved one until you can figure out how to resolve the situation.
Talk to the Police
As soon as you start to feel threatened by the stalker, it’s time to contact the police. The amount of protection they can provide will depend on your exact circumstances. Even if the situation hasn’t escalated to the point of you being able to obtain a restraining order or file charges against your stalker, contacting the authorities is always a good idea since it officially shows that you’re concerned about the situation and creates yet another record that strengthens your case. The police will also likely have some advice about additional steps you can take to protect yourself.
The most important thing to remember when you’ve attracted the attention of a stalker is to cut your ties with them and to trust your instincts.