Stay Safe While Taking Advantage of Online Dating
The days of going to bars hoping to find that special someone are long over. Bar hopping and awkward getting-to-meet-someone scenarios have pretty much been completely replaced by online dating sites. There are several reasons online dating sites are so popular, including the following.
- They’re considerably less expensive than going to bars and ordering drinks night after night.
- Everyone you connect to via an online dating site is genuinely looking for someone.
- You can pursue potential love matches while sitting at home, in your pajamas, while gorging on ice cream.
- You can quickly reject anyone who doesn’t appeal to you simply by scrolling past. There’s no need to worry that you’re going to hurt their feelings or damage their self-confidence.
While there are many perks connected to online dating, there are also a few drawbacks. While most of the people who use the various dating sites are good people, a few predators do occasionally create accounts. The good news is that there are some things you can do to protect yourself while engaged in online dating.
Create a New Email
Do not use any email that you regularly correspond with. Create a brand new email account that isn’t linked to your personal data. Do not attach social media accounts, your address, or your phone number to this email address.
Get a Good VPN
VPNs are designed to protect your location while you’re using the internet. A good VPN makes it look like you’re in one country while you’re really in a different one that’s on the other side of the globe. A good VPN makes it very difficult for anyone you’re corresponding with to track you down. Make sure you have the VPN on whenever you’re using the online dating site or using the email connected to the dating site.
Make Your Photos Generic
Before uploading photos to your profile, carefully look over them and make sure that there’s nothing in them that could give clues to where you live or the places you routinely hang out.
Meet in Public and Drive Yourself
If you’ve connected with someone and think they are a potential match, make sure your first several meetings are in a public place and arrange for your own transportation.
Tell People Where You’re Going and Check-In with Them
The first few times you go out with an internet date, let one or two people you trust know where you’re going, who you’ll be with, and what you’ll be doing. You should also set a time when you’ll check back in with them and let them know how it’s going. If the date is going well and you decide to keep the experience going, let your check-in people know about the change. If the date changes venue at any point, share this information.
The best way to stay safe while engaged in online data is to trust your gut. If you get a funny feeling that the person you matched up with isn’t quite what they seem, you should immediately cut ties and look for a new potential match.
What is Catfishing?
What we currently refer to as catfishing, which is pretending to be someone else for the specific purpose of deceiving another, isn’t a new concept. It has been happening since the beginning of time. The difference between now and all the historic cases of catfishing is that social media has made deceit and connecting with people easier than ever.
Using the term catfish to describe the act of assuming a fake identity in order to dupe another became commonplace shortly after a 2010 documentary called Catfish premiered. The documentary gave a detailed and fascinating account of a woman who was completely deceived by a young man with a Facebook account.
Catfishing could be considered a bit of a long con. The perpetrator puts a great deal of time and effort into setting up the scam. They must create a fake account, post fake photos, and come up with a good story. Most importantly they must know why they’re embarking on their catfishing escapade.
Every person has their own reason for setting up a catfishing scheme. Some people do it just because they want to see if they can have a good time. Stories like the old email con from the supposed Nigerian prince who needed money do it for financial gain. Sometimes it’s a desperate attempt to connect with someone and establish a romantic connection. There are even cases like the one involving Jonelle Potter who launched a catfishing campaign that hJonishing convinced her father and boyfriend to murder for her.
The good news is that most catfishing schemes don’t end in murder, though the victims frequently lose a great deal of money to the catfisher before the con runs its course. In 2021, 3,023 California victims revealed that not only had they become ensnared in a catfishing scam, but that they had given the person running the scam. It’s estimated that the 3,023 victims collectively lost $183,928,230. And that was just in California!
The laws surrounding catfishing are… murky.
Many states don’t have a law that specifically prohibits catfishing. What they do have are laws that deal with the outcome of catfishing, such as extortion and fraud. If convicted of either offense, the person who perpetrated the catfishing scheme will be a felon and likely spend some time in a state prison. It’s also highly likely that additional crimes such as identity theft (if you assume the identity of a real person for your catfishing scheme,) phishing, and electronic harassment.
Valentine’s First Date Safety Tips
Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Those of us who are single often feel that the holiday is the perfect day to arrange a first date and hopefully strike up a romance. The problem is that some of us are so fixated on connecting romantically, that we sometimes overlook basic first-date safety measures and will find ourselves in a dangerous situation.
Drive Separately
These days, most of us go on first dates with people we don’t actually know. In many cases, it’s an internet connection that sounds interesting. No matter how nice and trustworthy that person might sound during your virtual conversations, you need to remember that you don’t fully know them. One of the best ways you can keep yourself safe is making sure that each of you drives separately to your Valentine’s Day date location.
Driving does more than simply prevent you from being located in a small space where you have very little control over things with a person you don’t know well. It also provides you with an easy and accessible means of escape if the date doesn’t go well.
If you don’t have your own car, use an Uber/cab/bus to get to the location.
Tell Your Friends About Your Plans
Secret first dates sound fun and exciting, especially on Valentine’s Day. The other nice thing about secret first dates is that you don’t have to fill your friends and family members in on all of the details if the date turns out to be a dud.
The problem with secret Valentine’s Day dates is that if no one knows where you are or what you’re doing, they won’t know that you could be in trouble. Let at least one trusted person know where you’re going and who your Valentine’s Day date is. They will provide this information to the police if something goes wrong.
Meet in Public
Your Valentine’s Day date doesn’t have to be in a noisy club or even a secluded forest glen. It should be in a public place where people can step in if things don’t go the way you like. If you start to feel uncomfortable during the date, alert someone who is nearby and they can help extract you from the situation.
Never Leave a Drink Unattended
Always keep an eye on your drink. You don’t want your date or anyone else who is nearby, to slip anything into it. If you have to leave your drink, order a new one. Don’t finish the one that was left by itself.
Let Someone Know When You Make it Home Safely
Let the friend/family member you told about the date know that you’ve made it home and are safe. This is a great opportunity to discuss your Valentine’s Day date and decide if this is a person you’re interested in seeing again.
What are your plans for this Valentine’s Day?
Staying Safe While Online Dating
It doesn’t look like online dating is going anywhere.
This is often the time of year when people start to think about online dating. Some do this because they think the start of a new year is the perfect time to start a new relationship. Others because they realize that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Others decide that it’s a great time to create a new online dating profile because they hated being single during the holidays.
Whether you’re an online dating veteran or you’re just dipping your toe into the world of online dating, it’s always a good time to review safe online dating practices.
The first thing to remember is that you don’t really have any idea about who you’re talking to. Online dating is a great way to meet people, but it’s also a format that attracts a lot of predators. Choose a dating site that is upfront about its policy for keeping everyone involved safe.
If you make a match, take some time to get to know the person online before you arrange an in-person meeting. Whenever possible try to keep the conversation going through whatever means the online dating site has provided. This makes it easier to report any abuse or suspicious behavior.
Do not meet in a private or secluded area. Arrange to meet in a public place. Before going on your first date, let people know where you are going, who you are going with, and arrange for a time that you’ll check in with them and let them know that you’re okay.
Do not tell the person you’ve connected with online where you live. Make sure you eliminate any geographically identifiable items (such as your house) from the pictures you post on your profile.
If you start to feel at all uncomfortable with the other person, be it while you’re chatting on the dating site or while you’re on a real-time date with your online match, sever the connection and move on. Your safety and mental health are far more important than the few minutes of embarrassment you’ll feel while dashing away from the date.
Do not invite your online love connection to your home until you’re one hundred percent positive that they’re a good person and someone you can trust. If you have any reservations at all, keep the dates to public places. The same is true about getting into a car with them. It doesn’t matter if you’re driving or they’re driving, always travel in separate vehicles until you are confident about who you are with.
The most important thing to remember when you’re dating online is to trust your instincts. You really do know best so if something feels a little funny or unsafe it’s in your best interest to block that person and search for the next promising candidate.